In my next life, I want to be a man. Not that I envy you all that much, guys, but rather because from my point of view (a feminine one in this life) it seems yours is more simplified (I didn’t say “easy”), more streamlined, specially since you spend much less time than us doing… Well, on second thought, I won’t make a laundry list. I’d rather give you a Top Ten Reasons why…
10 – Because I won’t choose my house based on closet space (I will have less things to store and I won’t care if they aren’t neatly folded and stored).
9 – Because I won’t kill my shoulders carrying far too heavy suitcases (I’ll be real strong and will travel real light).
8 – Because I’ll tell all the silly dirty jokes I want without being frowned upon (it is unbecoming of a woman but oh-so-funny if you’re a dude).
7 – Because no one is going to bore me senseless with absurd stories about that freakin’ biological clock ticking away.
6 – Because if I don’t comb my hair no one will notice anyway and I’ll look cool just the same (possibly even cooler).
5 – Because I’ll be able to let my facial and body hair grow without having to bother with wax, laser and tweezers.
4 – Because with all the dough I’m gonna save NOT buying cosmetics, getting facials and spa treatments, buying frocks, bags and – let’s not forget! – shoes, I’ll be able to afford a new sports car every couple of years (I did the math).
3 – Because with all the time on my hand I’ll have from NOT going to the hair salon, the beauty salon, yoga and pilate classes, private training sessions, shopping the sales, changing outfits three times a day, putting on makeup and God knows what else, I’ll be able to… do all the things I am currently unable to do (see #6, #5 and #4).
2 – Because I’ll finally know how it feels to have my other half all pretty and dressed up and perfumed and all that jazz, while I won’t have shaved or combed my hair in 3 days (again, see #6 and #5)/ But I promise I’ll shower (at least) daily.
1 – And last but not least… Aargh, I gotta go… I have a hair appointment, a facial after that and I must not forget to book a mani-pedi and stop by the beauty counter as I am out of mascara and… Sorry, but I have to run now.
See you later or in my next life!